The Glorious and the Garbage of 2018
Well, here we are, if you are reading this, then you survived another year filled with a lot Garbage, but also the Glorious. 2018 was filled with absurdities, triumphs, and failures of epic proportions. So without further ado, let’s take a look at the Best and Worst of 2018.
Worst Technology that People Think Is Awesome: Virtual Reality
Make absolutely no mistake: Virtual Reality is the future. In our lifetimes, we will likely see Virtual Reality ruin all of our lives, as it will eventually make heroin addiction look like aspirin. Once the tech gets sufficiently powerful, miniaturized, and cost-effective, it will make the worst Black Mirror episode look like a documentary. However, right now, it is utter garbage. Far too bulky and underpowered, it makes for a decent tech demo, but it’s nowhere close to the soul-crushing juggernaut it will eventually become.
All Sports are Terrible, except the NHL
Yes, all of them. This has been happening over time, but now it seems that all of the soul has been sucked out of sports. The rules are such now that even a minor celebration will get you excommunicated. If you play defense, and you even fart in the direction of an offensive player, you’ll get penalties so harsh you’ll rethink your life. Let me tell you all something: If Dan Marino had played in this NFL era, people would think he cut a deal with the devil over what he’d be doing to the NFL. Then on top of all of this, we now have NBA coaches lecturing us and telling us what bad people we are. Sports used to be the one escape from politics, and now even they have been tainted. There is still one bastion of hope: the NHL. They still fight, you can still play real defense, and there’s virtually no downtime to check the replay booth every two minutes.
The Death List
We lost a lot of true icons this year, from Aretha Franklin, Stan Lee, R. Lee Ermey, to Stephen Hawking. Nowhere near a complete list, 2018 was brutal on cultural icons.
Apple and the Curious Case of Bending iPads
Only Apple could have even tried to defend this and still be in business. Any other company on the planet would have been destroyed over even attempting to say tablets arriving bent wasn’t a problem. When the iPhone had the bending issue, they didn’t deny it, but this time, they were outright like “Yeah this is Ok.” They’ve since offered exchanges, but the unmitigated hubris of a company to even try this was unbelievable. Apple also gets another ding for App Store censorship, removing completely historically accurate strategy games from the App Store.
Worst Entertainment Change: Comedy
Comedy has been awful for a while, at least since 2008, but 2018 comedy is horrific. So sterile and boring comedy has become, that I could not even name one single good comedic performance, either on TV, in the Movies, or stand up. Embarrassingly abysmal and devoid of any edge, comedians turned to the same recycled Trump jokes over and over. George Carlin and Richard Pryor would be apoplectic over 2018 comedy. I’ll say it now: the last good comedy movie was 2008’s Tropic Thunder.
The winner of the Worst of the Year: Politics
All of the items mentioned above combined aren’t even 1% as bad the current political landscape. Relationships destroyed, families broken, real-life harassment and assault, 2018 has got to be the worst year in politics of my lifetime, and it shows no sign of ending anytime soon.
Now that we’ve slogged through the Garbage let us move onto the Best of 2018.
Marvel still Crushing the World
Black Panther, Avengers, Ant-Man, Deadpool, and Daredevil. Yet another year of not only dominance but excellence. The Marvel Juggernaut rolls on, with no sign of stopping, and I love it all.
Hereditary and Horror Delivering Classics
I love horror, and 2018 was scintillating. Hereditary will go down as one of the greatest of all time, and we saw a litany of incredible horror movies such as Upgrade, Halloween, A Quiet Place, Mandy, Suspiria, Annihilation, and Revenge. That, by the way, is nowhere near a complete list. As a horror fan, this year was as great as any before, and one of the few genres to show innovation and take risks.
God of War Reinvents, and Dominates
God of War 3 is one of my favorite games of all time. When I found out they completely ditched the gameplay style I was ready to hate, but boy did they deliver. To change a great existing franchise to this degree, and hit a grand slam the way that they did, elevates this to Game of the Year, easily. Also, Red Dead Redemption 2 is overrated.
Cobra Kai brings back the Karate Kid, and somehow doesn’t suck.
I generally hate reboots and bringing back old franchises, but I have to admit, Cobra Kai was incredible. Every studio on earth should take note, this is how a reboot/remake/modern sequel should be done, and was one of the best TV shows of the year.
Best Promotional Stunt of All Time
IHOB. International House of Burgers. I am completely serious when I say that I have never seen a better promotional stunt in my life. They got the entire country talking for days and basically did it for free. I doubt we will ever see a better-executed promotion in our lifetime. People acted like they hated it, but it generated talk and controversy. And controversy creates cash. Well done.
Best Use of Technology: Space X launches a car into space.
Yeah, we got more rovers on Mars and whatnot, but how do you top Space X launching a freaking Tesla car into outer space, and returning successfully? You don’t, which is why this is on the list. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready to colonize Mars. Unfortunately, this won’t happen in my lifetime, so I’ll settle for launching cars into space.
So there you have it, My list of the Glorious and the Garbage of 2018. For myself, it was pretty good, I wrote one book and published it, and finished the first draft of another, and got into better shape than I’ve been in 20 years. 2019 is going to be wild, so buckle up. What were your best and worst of 2018? Let me know!
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